Delusions Are Serious Business
by Yamma
Summary: Under mistaken belief that Konoha killed his parents,young Naruto vows revenge against people he perceives to be responsible for this slight. But what can single ninja do against the most powerful of the hidden villages? Covert actions & allies are needed


Disclaimer: Writer of this fic owns trained commando ferret and isn't afraid of sicking it on poor, biased bigots.

Chapter One: And so it begins

The Hokage's office had seen many things during it's long history, but in the long run none would prove to be as significant as the converstation the six-yeard old Naruto had accidentally misheard.

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For the aforementioned blonde his day had began good enough before that life-changing event occurred. He had somewhat successfully completed his first week in the Konoha's Ninja Academy and thus taken the first steps required for his quest to become a great ninja such as Hokage and achieve the respect of those stuck up villagers.

After his training for the day had ended, Naruto had dashed towards Hokage Tower so he could tell the Old Man Hokage about his most awesome progress (and possibly to bum some free ramen from the poor old man).

With the images of noodly goodness dancing around his mind the blonde youth had arrived to his destination roughly an hour later only to find Hokage's busty secretary gently telling him that Third was currently occupied and that Naruto would have to wait to get his own audience with the venerable leader of Konoha.

Sitting around waiting had not sat well with zappy blonde, and eventually he'd decided to put his ear against the door of the Hokage's office in attempt to find out what was taking the Old Man so long. Third's secretary smiled at his antics before resuming her work, clearly believing that privacy seals crafted by the legendary Minato Namikaze himself would ensure privacy of the office.

Had she been aware of Naruto's parentage or mechanics of those seals she might've been able to alter the future about to unfold. Then again, same could be said about Naruto going to the Ichiraku's for ramen before visiting Hokage or any number of random incidents.

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Unlike one might expect, the Hokage and his visitor weren't in the middle of important discussion or any clandestine meeting; instead they were drinking and reminiscing about the past.

"I still say that you should've declared war on Cloud after the stunt they pulled year and a half ago Hiruzen, we could've beaten them easily enough," Hyuuga Hiashi said with sake induced flush on his cheeks, "I would have loved to 'fist their fiend of a Kage where it hurts."

Chuckling at his friends 'solution' to convoluted diplomatic crisis the Third Hokage took a sip of his own saucer before answering, "But if I had done that it would have given our other rivals far too tempting of an opportunity to attack us after we'd been weakened by Cloud's forces"

After taking another hearty sip of sake the Hyuuga patriarch nodded and fell silent for a moment.

"It's hard to be the leader at times, being forced to make so many unpleasant decisions" Hiruzen said, his true age visible for a short while.

"Sometimes I envy Minato," Hiashi stated, "Even though I know that the magnificient bastard is likely creating trouble for himself in afterlife, at times I feel like he and that Uzumaki girl of his, Kushina, had it easy when it was their time to die."

"It was certainly a tragedy, but given who she was and her condition at the time it couldn't be avoided," Hiruzen acknowledged. "But enough of these somber matters Hiashi, we should focus on more positive aspects of life such as new Icha Icha-Novel my dear student has managed to finish."

"The one with the pacifist shinobi resolving a feud between two warring kunouichi clans by liberal use of shadow clones and sexual techniques? Jiraiya-sama really outdid himself on that one," Hiashi remarked with perverted leer on his face.

"That he certainly did, and in my opinion the tentacle monster-summons were nice touch."

With the duo of powerful perverts discussing their mutual love of Icha Icha, neither of them was alarmed by abrupt departure of young Naruto's chakra signature. It was normal for the youth to become bored of staying in one spot for too long after all, unless that spot happened to be a ramen stand.

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Despite his best efforts at straining his better than average hearing, Naruto couldn't hear anything until he'd scratched his finger against some splinters of the door and few drops of his blood fell on it. Not making the connection, young ninja-in-training simply chalked hearing bits and pieces of the conversation to his own innate awesomeness.

He was bit disturbed by the first clear thing he heard, but to be fair hearing a deep male voice pronouncing his desire to "fist a Kage" would've been bit unsettling to anyone of his age, even though he was unaware of it's sexual connotations.

Also the Old Man's comment of "I'd done our rivals tempting Clouds" was confusing to him, but Naruto simply resolved to wait and ask him later about it.

But all that was forgotten when he heard the next part of the conversation which truly shocked him to the core: " that bastard... and... Uzumaki Kushina... had to die"

_Uzumaki? Could they've been my family? Why did they have to die?  
_

It was Sarutobi's following tidbit, though, which shattered Naruto's current worldview and created a cold feeling of emptiness inside him, "given who she was, it couldn't be avoided."

Young, affection starved boy had (correctly) figured that Uzumaki Kushina they'd been talking about was his mother, but due to his hearing still far from it's full potential had mistakenly assumed that Old Man Hokage and that guest of his had killed of his mother and family.

Resolving to continue eavesdropping until he heard the name of his mother's murderer, Naruto quickly took off after hearing Old Man, no, the Hokage addressing the killer of his family as "Hiashi".

Having that name etched into his memory, Naruto quickly took off from the Hokage Tower. The secretary was bit surprised that Naruto didn't stick around longer but quickly chalked it to boredom defeating his urge to smooch ramen from Hokage and continued her work undeterred by blonde's departure.

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Naruto's escape run had lead him to a one of the small thickets of Konoha where he unleashed the fury and rage which had been building up since the startling revelation of his parent's true fate. He continued to punch and kick the innocent plants until he couldn't summon the strength to move his bloodied limbs any longer.

Collapsing on the ground, exhausted both physically and emotionally, Naruto dreamed of the deaths of his parents at the hands of man he had eaerlier thought as person precious to him.

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When he woke up next morning, Naruto felt odd sense of relief take hold of him. At last he understood why everyone treated him differently, apparently his parents had done something so bad that it had warranted their execution. The hate he'd felt towards Konoha had reached all time high because of the apparent 'truth' behind his ostracism at the hands of it populance. Presumably last of his clan, it was his duty to avenge his family.

As he rose up and headed for his home to get the items needed for his training at the Ninja Academy, he moved on autopilot when he filled his bag with the needed equipment and began his trek towards his school.

_But what can I do about it,_ Naruto pondered deep in thought as he continued his walk, _Even if, no, WHEN I manage to become the strongest ninja in the village, can I really beat them all?_

Having reached his destination, Naruto made his way into his classroom and decided to actually test his new resolve by reading his study books for a change until his instructor came in and started his lecture.

"What is the most important trait that separates truly great ninja from merely good one? Contrary to what you brats may believe, it isn't power, number of techniques, speed, weapons or a bloodline. It's teamwork. A prime example of this were the Sannin of Konoha, the greatest team of ninja Konoha had ever produced. While each of them was mind-boggingly powerful in their own right, only as a team they realized their full potential. That is the thing I'll make you brats realize in one way or another; teamwork is the key to being truly great ninja,"  
the instructor finally ended his long-winded speech and waited for one or more of the brats to dispute his claims.

Though he wasn't too suprised that none of the kids hadn't challenged his claims, the fact that one Uzumaki Naruto was diligently paying attention was a shock. He had pegged the demon container as slacker after the first week of teaching, but witnessing his current behaviour he was forced to re-evaluate his previous opinion. Perhaps it had been only initial restlessness in new environment?

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Now that he was fully concentrating on his studies instead of fantasizing about eating ramen while wearing Hokage's hat and the populance of Konoha bowing to his awesomeness Naruto found that some of the lectures of the teachers were actually interesting.

Sure, most of it was so boring that if not for his newly found determination to become the best ninja and avenge his family's death he would've certainly fallen asleep, but there were jewels of wisdom hidden inside the sea of crap he was forced to endure.

Teachings which sounded most useful to him and his cause were the ones about teamwork and it's numerous benefits to him. It certainly would help to have some loyal and obedient ninja at his side when he took his vengeance against those who had wronged him.

Another tenet which seemed even more useful was the one about deception. Though Naruto wasn't sharpest of the people, he did realize that openly antagonizing Konoha would be fruitless and likely detrimental to his cause and the subtle revenge might be sweeter in the long run. Not to mention that his inner trickster was salivating at the prospect of becoming Hokage of a village he hated just for delivering his retribution upon it.

So now he simply had to become the best as academy's training could make him and convert allies (or perhaps minions would be more appropriate term?) to his cause like famous nin such as Hashirama Senju had done.

But unlike the famous founder of Konoha, young Uzumaki's plans were of diabolical nature.

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Lady Luck was clearly favouring Naruto as opportunity to recruit first minion for his cause came few weeks later when he stumbled upon pink haired girl from his class getting bullied by group of other kunouichi students. Seeing a chance he had been waiting for, vengeful blonde decided to intervene.

"Why don't you crawl back to your mommy, you wussy! We don't need your giant forehead around to here!"

"Yeah, you're even uglier than a BOY thanks to that humongous deformation you call forehead!"

"Tsch tsch girls, you shouldn't insult boys like that, they might be offended if make comparisons that demeaning!"

Taunts and jeers of the older females around her were making Sakura feel more miserable than she'd ever felt before in her life as she cried. Coming from fully civilian background yet still possessing clear talent for the craft she had pissed several kunouichi trainees in her year with some shinobi background by "showing them up" during theoretical study portions. And they had decided to bring their friends and sibling to make sure that the "upstart" would learn her place.

Innate yet still latent talent did little to help against more trained opponents, especially when they outnumbered her five to one, so Sakura had quickly fallen before their combined onslaught and was forced to endure the humiliating insults and derogatory nicknames. Maybe they *were* right and she wasn't cut out to be ninja after all..

"I know that it's recommended to use teamwork against superior oppotent, but do you fear her so much that you need FIVE against one?," the voice of young boy said and snapped Sakura from her gloomy thoughts, "Either she's far out of your league and is toying with you, or you all are actually so weak that you can't stand chance without ganging up on her. And given the this situation, I'm inclined to believe it's latter."

Girls surrounding Sakura gasped at what the blonde boy was insinuating, just who was that squirt to insult them like THAT? Clearly he had no idea how outskilled he was!

"Well well, it looks like some brat is trying to play a hero. Since this doesn't really concern you, we'll let you go if you apologize us. We wouldn't want to bloody our beautiful bodies too much after all," the leader of the five bullies said.

Much to the ire of bullies Naruto remained unflappable before throwing insult aimed to activating their berserk button and succeeding beyond his expectations.

"Beautiful bodies? YOU? That second year Hyuuga trap looks more beautiful than all of you combined, and even that trap doesn't look as pretty as that girl your ganging upon. Aha! It seems that I was mistaken in my initial assumption that you were jealous of her skill as kunouichi; it's clear to me now that you were jealous of her looks instead!"

Even as her bullies screeched because of wounded pride, Sakura found herself blushing at the comments of the blonde boy. No one aside from her parents had ever called her pretty, certainly not any boy. But could he really save her from five kunouichi trainees, with three of them being second graders?

Unholy gleam in their eyes, the five bullies took menacing steps towards Naruto and with the battle cry of "For insulting the Neji-kuns manliness, DIE!" the quintet of enraged girls charged Naruto.

Despite the odds stacked against him, Naruto couldn't help but smile. Although at least three of his attackers were likely more skilled than him in the art of hand to hand combat, he knew that he would eventually win.

Naruto's assessment proved to be correct, since despite receiving plethora of punches, kicks and some scratches his superior endurance and stamina proved themselves as he slowly but surely demolished his tired opponents. When last of them fell down, clearly knocked out, the now slightly bloodied Naruto moved towards Sakura and asked if she was okay, smiling all the while.

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Sakura was shocked and clearly moved to see her saviour trounce her tormentors. When she heard him asking if she was ok she couldn't do anything but nod slowly, the shock of someone injuring himself on her behalf clearly still affecting her.

As she slowly came out of her shocked state she heard her saviour asking her name.

"Sakura Haruno" , she shakily replied. "Thank you for saving me for those bullies"

"No problem, the name's Uzumaki Naruto" , smiling boy said as he introduced himself, "Sakura, I was wondering if you'd like to be friends"

Shy pinkette blushed though she replied affirmatively, hugging Naruto while crying against his chest. Despite her tears she was honestly relieved at finally making friends with someone, perhaps her future as a ninja wouldn't be as hopeless she had believed.

Even as he held the weeping pinkette against his chest, Naruto couldn't stop the smirk forming on his face.

_Acquiring minion number one... Success_

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After the start of their friendship, Sakura was all but inseparatable from Naruto as the two improved their abilities together. From training, doing the assignments the academy required to simply playing, they were constantly near each other. Sakura's parents had initially been slightly concerned about her spending nearly all of her time with some boy, but after hearing just how they had met elder Harunos fully accepted Naruto.

Though Naruto himself didn't know it, his 'selfless heroism' had won him two supporters in the form of elder Harunos. Even the most bigoted folks of Konoha knew to keep their mouths shut about Naruto if Mrs. Haruno was in the hearing distance.

After their first year in the ninja training program, Naruto, Sakura and most of the class had learned to channel their chakra, basic ninja rules & regulations, handling & use of ninja tools among other useful yet simple skills, Naruto had yet to make more "friends" or minions as he liked to call Sakura in his mind.

That all changed in the middle of their second year though, when Konoha was abuzz with news of Itachi Uchiha going postal and slaughtering his entire clan save his younger brother, Sasuke. Whereas most of the Konoha saw poor, orphaned little seven year old, Naruto saw an opportunity.

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_Why did you do it Itachi, why? Why did you kill them all?_ the last loyal Uchiha thought as he sat on pier looking at the lake where he had learned Great Fireball jutsu just a month earlier.

Learning that technique had been hard but definately worth it, since he'd finally managed to get the attention and praise of his stoic father, even if only for a short while. In long run, was there any point in achieving that since his prodigy of an elder brother playing killer tag with their entire clan as his prey?

"I know how you feel" Sasuke was cut out from his musings by voice that he recognized belonging to a boy from his class, Uzumaki Naruto.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he snarked at the blonde boy "As if orphan like you would know how it feels like to lose his family"

Naruto let out a chuckle before replying, "Very perceptive of you Sasuke, but you fail to realize that to become orphan one must lose his family"

As Sasuke's eyes lit up with understanding, the blonde boy continued talking, "In that respect were similar. We both had our families taken out from us by someone we loved, and we both feel the need to avenge them, am I right Sasuke?"

Slightly shocked but quickly overcoming it, Sasuke stared at the blonde and asked the inevitable question, "Even if it so, what do you want?"

Naruto closed his eyes and replied as if it wasn't unusual at all, "What I want is simple. Become my friend and help us both become stronger so we can both avenge our respective clans, besides it should be in your interests to have skilled backup for Itachi's possible companions when you do eventually confront him" After finishing his recruitment speech he raised right hand as an offer of friendship.

Silence descended between the two as Sasuke thought about Naruto's offer. What blonde was suggesting was unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome. In all honesty Sasuke hadn't considered the possiblity that Itachi might not be alone when he was ready to act upon his vow of vengeance. Having reliable ally or allies would help him to deal with any aces his elder brother had in his sleeves.

After silent few minutes had passed, Sasuke slowly took blondes hand and shook it, confirming their partnership.

"It's a deal."

While outwardly smiling even as he and Sasuke moved towards training ground meant for academy students where Sakura was already practicing, in his minds eye Naruto was sporting demonic grin as one particular thought rose above others.

_Just as planned._

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Author's Notes:

This particular idea came upon my sick and twisted mind after reading one too many failed emorevenge fics where good, innocent yet abused Naruto decides to take his revenge against evil, nefarious and sadistic that tormented him so. Basic premise was "What if Konoha was in fact innocent of the slights Naruto perceived it guilty for, but wanted vengeance against it for that alleged slight?" Expect this Naruto to be a bastard who decided to go on with the "hate" route the canon Naruto barely rejected for obvious reasons.

And from there on I decided to combine it with my idea on saying one big "FUCK YOU" to fanon cliches which permeate Naruto fandom so badly that for many authors it's difficult to realise what is fanon and what is not. Bonus cookies for the one who manages to find all references in this chapter.

And for those wondering, I don't ship Naru/Saku and I don't even LIKE Sasuke as a character, but since bashing of those two has gotten so ridiculous I simply had to do something about it. Feel free to dislike characters, but truly hating commercialised product of fiction is rather unwarranted (unless the product of fiction in question is Ronald MacDonald, then you have my Axe for support)


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